Thinking of You!!! / Dana Foret (friend) Hey man!! We still miss you very much. Daddy says he still hears you sometimes running around. I needed you a while back. i was cutting grass in the yard and thinking where is CJ's butt to come help me!! LOL!!!! No matter what was going on in our yard you were always there to come give a helping hand. And you know that daddy aways loved having you around. We love you and will one day meet again....
The Gentle Heart by Leslie Holmes / LESLIE HOLMES (NONE) I often see your face at night in the distant twinkling star that shines. I remember your smile like that star brightened my heart just like the night. Your gentle heart and loving way made me look toward each glowing day. Now I am here and you've gone home. I feel so sad and all alone. I miss that smile and gentle way but I miss you more each passing day. Feel my love and know my heart Shall always love you and not depart. Shine and twinkle my gentle one. Light that darkened sky above And we shall bask within that glow Knowing again that gentle heart.
I'm very sorry I saw C.J. memorial several times now, and I just wanted to extend my sympathy to you for your loss. It is obvious, even to me, a stranger, that you loved C.J. very much and you're having a hard time right now. I am so sorry. I don't know the story or any details, but remember that C.J. is in God's care, and he's safe and peaceful. From the description of the kind of person he was, I'm sure he would want you to live your life to the fullest, even though he's not physically here. He is with you in spirit and someday you will be together again. I really believe that, and I hope you do too. I know it's not easy. It is so difficult to move on without the ones we love. Again, my condolences on your loss
This would have been one of the most exciting days of your life.... Your 18th birthday....this day takes me back to 1990, that day I had my baby boy.. mom's kinda numb completely cj.. I really wish i could express my self more than I can but that would not be right... i know two wrongs don't make a right, all I could have wish for today is to have you back with me, I know that wish will never come true for me now all I ever wish is to be able to get those two alone in a room just them and myself.. something would be revealed cj i know it. I know thats never gonna happen either, I'm screwed cj no reasoning, no answers, three years later and I still don't have any peace.... Be in my shoes and tell me how to have have peace, thats a cover up word... it's not easy going through life everyday, life for me will never be normal, I try as I watch everything and everybody go right on with a normal life and I'm sitting here dieing more and more inside everyday I guess the good part is no one knows it but me. You know me cj, momma is a strong person plus i have Amber and Blake to tend to they keep momma going, but looseing you was my biggest breaking point. I thought I've done good these last few years but right now I'm really not sure how I am from minute to minute... I hope you have all the answers up there you need, and hope your not disappointed when you look down upon us down here.. so many thoughts in my head to go on and on about but I'll save the rest for you in my prayers baby... As the day slowly passes you will be remembered on every milestone in your life, at birth, first laugh out loud, (I still can hear), first tooth, first step you ever took, this is all happy memories that every mothers has but then I get to your teenage years and it just stops. no memories, stories no nothing just gone, it's all gone....... WHY? The unknown, the only thing thats ever scares the shit out of me and that unknown took you from me... momma will close for now to make a visit to this morning to your resting place. i love you cj more than anything in this world, I know I'm a good person, and I have to keep beleaving that i'll be alright oneday...I love you man.. may god have faith in us all....
Missing you... It been 3 years today... / Momma Your #1 Fan My dearest C.j. No words can explain the pain i have felt over the past 3 years with out you here, as another year passes, I go through life each day wondering if theres a perpose for being here, wondering how you could have been taken away from me so fast.. The loss of you cj has been the worst thing ever to experience, as I lost and have buried my entire family nothing can compare to the loss of a child.... i pray to god everyday hoping to get some answers but they just are not there, i will never give up on you everyday i pray Cody and Yvette as well as the other two will have to answer for this, the sooner the better... I know this isn't right cj but i hope they have unbarable pain and live their lives as if they were burning in hell every minute of the day. I know you are in a better place with god baby....and I know he needed you more than we needed you here but as a mom I JUST WaNT YOU TO COME HOME... just to be able to see that always smiling face and to here one last time "I LUV YA MA"... but I know I'll never have that chance again. WHY the unknown word that I'll will never have a answer too... Momma is still as far away from knowing what happend to you as I was 3 years ago today... the only one that knows is cody and yvette, and with people like that well I don't expect to ever know.. I have to face myself everyday as to why your not here and try to reason something out in my head but i still get no where... will they every have to answer? the unknown is a scarey thing..... As your birthday gets closer, it be comes another day of sorrow, i wonder what youd be like, I'd be chasing the girls out of here, what kind of truck would you have, You'd be graduating this year, basically who you'd be today... Some say time never stops... well I'm here to say for all to hear.... Time does stop, loose a child and see how much time stands still. I'm living proof.... I am closing this note for you with an I love you more than life itself cj and I will be visting your resting place in a few minutes baby and I hope and pray that only a few people will ever have to feel my pain that I will be feeling for the rest of my life... Yes Yvette, is one of the few people I hope feels what I feel every single day of life... RIP baby, do your job up there and I'm trying my best to handle things down here....till later always know you are and will always with me every step I make in the messed up world.....Love you more than anything.. love with all my heart ... your momma
hey baby... / Nanny (godmother/aunt)
hey,baby just wanted you to know i'm always thinking of you and i'm missing you soo much i can't get pass it and i know i never will..i know the lord is taking great care of you but i can't help waiting for you to come home again.. i love you baby and thank you for sitting by me you truly are my angel...till we meet again nanny loves you always...oh and don't fret cody will have his day i promis you if not by god (who knows??!!)but, this will happen...you will be able to rest in peace..
I Am So Sorry / Judi Walker I am so sorry for the loss of C.J. My heart broke for you as I visited this site. You have done a wonderful jon of sharing C.J. with others, he sounds like a wonderful young man. I pray someday there will be justice for him. My son was murdered too, so I know and share your pain. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
so young and beautiful. I am so sorry. So sorry. I lost my beautiful son Dallas to an accidental heroin overdose on July 12 2007. I am struggling. Hard. I am still in shock and find myself looking at the clock wondering...where is he, it's late. How these beautiful boys could be gone, is a question I can't wrap my mind around. I have searched for weeks to find parents like me who would understand this grief. I have a memorial for my boy, it doesn't help much...I only want him back. But I am pouring myself out on my blog and have put some resources and education materials there...hoping just one kid, just one, would read something that would spark for them. I am inconsolable. If you have time to visit my son, his page is: http://thegrievingroom.blogspot.com I have such vengeance for the one who gave it to him first, and the one who gave it to him last. He was just a vulnerable kid. I know for you, it is still a fresh wound. I will be thinking of you and your family. Angela
i havent talked to you in a long time and i know that. i miss you so much. i know that i am not telling you anything that you don't already know, but, it just helps me get my feelings out you know. i can't even explain how much i miss you and how much i want you to just come back.so much stuff has changed in these past couple of months. some for the good and but most for the bad. i miss the way stuff use to be. but some stuff is good the way it is. like i meet this awesome guy, David. we have been dating for, it's gonna be 8 months the 4th. i am so happy with him. i love him so much. but i miss the way some things use to be. but maybe they just change for the better. hey everything happens for a reason right? i sure do hope so. but anyways i love you so much and i miss you more than ever. i just wish that this would not have happend. i still don't understand why it had to? it upsets me so much sometimes. i know that you help me get though stuff all the time and i don't know what i would do witout your help. but i got to go and i will talk you later.
i love you
We miss you!!!! / Dana O'Ragan (Friend)
Hey, C.J. I know that I haven't wrote to you in a while. I have had a lot going on in the family. Daddy still talks about you all the time. And Robert still looks for you sometimes in the yard. And me I still look for you when I pull onto Beverly, i always think that you are going to be walking down the road. It just all seems soooo weird because we still feel like you are still around. You know???? Well, I am married now to Nick and Alana is already 3 years old. She thinks that she is 20. It drives me insane. Robert and Fallon bought some land in Franklinton and are going to build a house. Rylee, their little girl is getting big she will be 1 year old Oct. 17th. Daddy is ok, but you can tell that he is starting to go down. Which drives me crazy because I don't want to imagine life without him. You know???? But we are making it through. If only life was as easy down here like it is up there. And we will only find out how wonderful it is up there when our number has be pulled. But until we can meet you again and all our other loved ones we will keep praying for answers and for right now God knows and he will find justice. Anyway, We love you a lot and I will write you soon. Love, Dana